I don't mind eating by myself at a restaurant. At all. That's growing up.

Happy New Year! Where did 2009 go? What happened? With time flying by so fast it is easy to assume nothing did, but that's downright impossible- 365 days, some things are bound to be monumental.

I remember 10 years ago-the millennium- I kissed my boyfriend of 5 years for the first time that night. We smoked so much pot out of the lamest gravity bong ever. I smoked Newport Lights. I drank Amstel. We woke up and watched "The Sixth Sense". We ate Burger King all afternoon. I was a senior in high school and I was ridiculously happy. And I am now. And that makes me smile. Lots of good things have happened. Probably more bad things have happened. 2009- you had the right sort of trajectory.

I moved. I lost my job. I got a new job. I lost that job. I figured out how to be content, happy, calm. I went to Spain. I went to Costa Rica. I spent oodles of time on LBI. I made new friends. I worked on maintaining old ones. I accepted things. I challenged things. I grew up. I realized what will make me happy forever/always and not right now/just cause. I got a new tattoo. I got more into cooking than my grandmother would have ever anticipated. I didn't go to church as often as I wanted to. I watched some great old horror movies on netflix. I settled down a bit. I am more up for any adventure than ever before.

So cheers to 2010! It's going to be awesome and colorful and loud and obnoxious.....as awesome and colorful loud and obnoxious as these vintage noise makers. Fingers crossed.

The world, as a rule, does not live on beaches and country clubs.

I was more interested in my grandmothers old Fitzgerald books on her bookshelf than I was with celebrating Christmas.

Blackout Poetry

When I say 'blackout', drunk typically follows. I am proud to announce my very first black out poem inspired by Austin Kleon www.austinkleon.com. Mind the awful scan.And please click to enlarge. (Gosh- I need help)



In other seemingly artistic news. I am buying my brother Ed Emberly's "Make A World" classic drawing book. And after his 7 year old brain inevitably tires of its charm, I'm ripping the cover off and framing it because I love it to bits.

Sweet Thing (like the Van Morrison song)

*Sweets aren't my thing. But I would move a MACK truck to munch on astronaut food, anything bear shaped or marshmallow ice cream cones.

Right up my street!

Hello, December

A is for Andrea, amateur, Adobe, and alliteration

I put myself in Edward Gorey's 'The Gashlycrumb Tinnies'...for good measure.

Serendipitious Lyric Love

Oh I Wish I Had A Sun Tan
I Wish I Had A Pizza And A Bottle Of Wine
I Wish I Had A Beach House
Then We Could Make A Big Fire Every Night
~The Girls

Things I think.

~I'm not kidding writing a letter to Wes Anderson because Donovan's "There is a Mountain" is begging to be in his next movie. Every time I hear it I think of Wes. Although, I think of him often, so this isn't out of the ordinary.

~I would like to believe that artist Franz West's Central Park sculpture "The Ego and the Id" was inspired by The Long Winter's "When I Pretend to Fall" album. I stumbled upon this at a jukebox. I love a good jukebox.






~I don't know much yet about Roman Payne. But I think this line from "Rooftop Soliloquy" might be my favorite list of things I love that I personally did not come up with.
"It's not that we have to quit this life one day, but its how many things we quit all at once: music, laughter, the physics of falling leaves, automobiles, holding hands, the scent of rain, teh concept of subway trains. If only we could leave this life slowly."

While the entire town of Hoboken was plumb out of pumpkin...

An homage was paid to the Grateful Dead with the Empire State Building lit up like tie-dye.




After literally gasping at the spectacle down by the pier, I got this text from my sister, "In the cab now. It smells like Mr. Bubbles". We went and got dinner. The Yankees lost. And pumpkin pie was, sadly, not in anyones future. But all of these jumbled, mundane occurences that made up one uneventful night made me realize how f*ing cool life is.

Cause when our hearts are full we need much less...

I accidentally wiped my hands on my grocery list after coming out of the bathroom at work. All I can make out is cinnamon. But I'm positive it's one of the prettiest accidents that happened today. Totally trumped dropping my cupcake on the floor...icing side down/cup side up.

Andrea likes this.

~'How I Met Your Mother' is my new favorite show (coming in at a very close second 'Bored to Death')and I have recently been tickled by its fuzzy narrated endings courtesy of Bob Saget. The messages are similar to the sage wisdom Bob used to dole out to DJ, Stephanie and Michelle...but not as nauseating and it has yet to involve getting in trouble for letting your best friend pierce your ears. Take for example:

The great moments of your life won't necessarily be the things you do. They'll also be the things that happen to you. Now, I'm not saying you can't take action to affect the outcome of your life. You have to take action. And you will! But never forget, that on any day, you could step out the front door, and your whole life could change forever.

~Chicken Paillard from Schillers on Rivington. I have recently started hating on chicken because I saw them in, not one, but two parking lots over the past six months and I don't particularly want my food to be loitering...thank you, Schillers, for making me love it again! And even if it weren't for the chicken, the postcards they put in the bill are the cats pajamas.


~'Bright Lights, Big City' by Jay McInernay. An overdue read.

~The hidden track on Sam Cooke's Greatest Hits "Soul". Indesribable.

A rather humbling activity

Step class.

I realize I am not an expert in pretty much anything and more often than not my talents are forgettable at best (making banana bread, the ability to not botch most lyrics to most songs, remembering to water plants, tree pose in yoga, drinking)But it hasn't been since grade school that I have felt my coordination (or lack there of) rear its ugly head and make a mockery out of me. That is until I decide to take BASIC Step at the New York Sports Club on 52nd and Broadway. Sometimes, I guess my right foot prefers lunging when the instructor wants my left foot too. And for it being beginner, was I expected to know what "around the world was?" Half way through the instructor came up to me and all I said was "yes...I know. I'm leaving". One might think that this kind of embarressment would crush me for the evening...but I must admit, it felt good to feel bad. I hadn't been humiliated in quite some time and it definitely put things into some bizzar-o perspective courtesy of a step and 4 risers. And while I may not be able to master the 32 count syncopated coreography...I'm pretty sure I'm cooler than the 8 other people who could AND I was able to catch an earlier bus home. I win.

Why would I want to remember such a cringe worthy 30 minutes of my life other than that everyone every once in awhile should feel like a douchebag?? Because the woman who created step aerobics...yea, her name is Gin. Gin Miller. And she looks like this:

This is your life

This is your life

Shared via AddThis

Pastella -ella -ella

Pastella -ella -ella

Shared via AddThis

An homage to Katie and/or myself...

What's the opposite of "postscript"?

Here is a sunrise Ain't that enough
True as a clear sky, ain't that enough
Toy town feelings here to remind you
Summers in the city do what you gotta do
~Teenage Fanclub

I've decided I'm going to purchase a Lite Brite. Out of all of the toys I loved as a child, this one truly holds up. It is ridiculously multi-purposeful. For instance, rather than tell M and Fin that they owe me $57 for cable by way of a post it...how fanciful would it be to announce this with little tiny purple pegs?

So my wants right now are all attainable (which is all I ever want to attain...regarding wants): Lite Brite, pumpkin tortellini, watch the Yankees game tonight and drink Magner's in an icy, icy pint glass.

so we beat on, boats against the current...

There have been a handful of not so sweet things that happened today- namely because I have decided to do an about face on my life. I went to the candy store to take pictures and feel better. It worked. And then I got back to my office and received this email:




It was in regards to business cards, but, yep....getting there.

Everything's not lost.

The word "boardwalk" is so literal I want to hug it.

When I put a raspberry on my finger it looks like Devo's "Whip It" video.

There's a tough word, on your crossword...

Within 24 hours of each other I received the following two text messages from two entirely different people:

1- "I missed you so much. I really, really missed you."

2- "It's just odd to me that he doesn't want anything more to do with you than that. I don't get it. I'm just confused, like I am seeing something that is not there. Am I the only one? Apparently no one thinks you are as awesome as I do. Not good."


I've got nothing....

My J.Crew ballet flats happen to be the same color as the walls of the 33rd street PATH train.

I <3 Pizza

Bored at work=randomly searching key words in my gmail emails/chats.

When I searched "pizza"...120 hits came up. Here is the past year in pizza:

4/27/09- ...figured we could get pizza and beer
4/21/09- ...we can order pizza and get wine
4/20/09- ...alert me after my pizza
4/20/09- ...we can order pizza or something
4/20/09- ...going to get pizza
4/20/09- ...going to get pizza
4/20/09- ...I want pizza
4/17/09- ...get together tonight for pizza and cake
4/15/09- ...and maybe some pizza and hang?
4/8/09- ...I want pizza!
4/6/09- ...eating a slice of pizza w/no plate
4/3/09- ...getting yummy pizza @ Buckalew's
3/27/09- ...looks like I was wrong "Dorito's Collision Pizza Cravers and Ranch Flavroed Tortilla Chips." Damn.
3/27/09- ...I burned my pizza
3/25/09- ...I'm thinking veggie pizza
3/25/09- ...was thinking pizza
3/24/09- ...that I love pizza?
2/20/09- ...thinking I deserve pizza
2/16/09- ...I def ate pizza
2/10/09- ...me drunk= pizza + drunk dialing
2/3/09- ...I love that pizza box
1/12/09- ...and maybe frozen pizza
1/7/09- ...two day old pizza
12/18/08- ...buffalo wings and pizza
12/8/08- ...crust of the pizza
11/26/08- ...she can make pizza
11/26/08- ...baked ziti-2. pizza-3.
11/25/08- ...lean cuisine pizza
11/18/08- ...pancheros-mighty fine pizza
11/12/08- ...california pizza kitchen
11/12/08- ...gathering of champagne and pizza
11/11/080- ...forced to eat pizza
11/7/08- ...can't tonight, pizza and wine
10/24/08- ...I want pizza but will refrain
10/17/08- ...Fun Time Pizza Circus in MGMT video
10/16/08- ...pizza bagels?
10/7/08- ...eat fast food pizza
9/24/08- ...just drink/eat pizza
9/22/08- ...there to eat pizza
9/18/08- ...3 slices of pizza like a savage
8/18/08- ...Uptown Pizza?
7/28/08- ...had beer and pizza on Friday
7/23/08- ...cup from the pizza place
7/23/08- ...pizza/wine
6/19/08- ...I deserve pizza
5/13/08- ...def up for eating pizza/drinking wine
5/6/08- ...I'll get some pizza!!!! (actual number of exclamation points)

At least we have heart...

...and papercuts.

To the man...

...standing outside of the ridiculously overpriced, mediocre restaurant on 8th Avenue who was smoking a cigarette and drinking what appeared to be a to-go cup of espresso all the while looking through said restaurants window and reading the menu off of his table that he seemingly strategically placed for optimal viewing...well done.

"These Arms of Mine" ~ Otis Redding

"Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as a consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or estatically head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship. Maybe Al Green is directly responsible for more than I ever realized."

~Nick Hornby High Fidelity

We Decided to Let Them Say "We Are Convinced" Twice. It Was More Convincing That Way.

-I don't like the Decemberists but I like how the cover of "The Crane Wife" looks like a somee.com card.

-It would behove you to look up amethyst on wikipedia. Trust me. It's good.

-Blog title: The name of Walid Raad's 15 photo exhibit of when the Isreali army invaded Beirut in 1982. He was 14 when this happened. I saw the exhibit about 6 months ago. The pictures are hanuting...but the name of the exhibit terrifies me.

...Speaking of terrifying, I fully intend to see the "Last House on the Left" remake that comes out in a few weeks. The original made me never want to live in a wooded area (I did) or go galavnating around with no real purpose (I did). But what is truly terrifying is that I want to actually see this movie. This, however, is on par with my viewing of "Confessions of a Shopaholic" last night.

Recommendations, Definitions, Quotables, and the like...

Read: Love is a Mixed Tape by Rob Sheffield. It's beyond beyond.

Fact: I just learned what rhapsody means. I had to look it up.

Quote: "...a little oasis of elegant unreasonableness in a vast desert of practical common sense." -Oscar Wilde. The man, literally, can do no wrong. I'm hoping to work on my OW kisses collage from Pere Lachaise cemetary in Paris...pics will follow shortly or as soon as I get my ass in gear.

Fact: Today feels like the spring of 2002 outside. And I'm inadvertently listening to Pink Flloyd on Pandora...which will always makes me think of the spring of 2002.

Some recent things I love

1- I have been buying blackberries on the corner of 49th and 8th every morning outside of a Duane Reade and a Blockbuster. It's rather pleasureable to eat blackberries every morning. I don't know why I hadn't ever done this sooner...

2-Oren Lavie. Stumbled upon his amazing stop motion film for his song "Her Morning Elegance" ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_HXUhShhmY ) when my roommate was compltely uninterested in the Academy Award's and playing around on YouTube. At first this annoyed me...now I am eternally grateful that she has zero attention span for awards shows. This is why: "If only you had been curious. Not So serious. And your grammar is right. But your structure is strong. And nothing belongs". Love! I'm downloading the album tonight to listen to on the beach in Malpais...

3-The Fresh candle and room spray from Restoration Hardware. I don't know how they did it but that ridiculously overpriced chain store managed to bottle the smell of my grandma's bedroom from their old house in Ridgewood. I finished the candle in less than a week and a half and I've been wearing the room spray as perfume.

4-Lastly, this line from Richard Yates "Revolutionary Road" (which I will hopefully finish today so I can see the movie tomorrow) "Why did everything always change, when all you wanted, al you had ever humbly asked of whatever God there might be, was that certain things be allowed to remain the same?"

That's all for now.

Pretty Cool Stamp

Dick Cheney=Jaclyn Smith > Nicky Hilton

True story:

A Connecticutt man was taken to Bridgeport Hospital for a psychiatric evaluation after he led authorities on a high-speed chase Monday and then claimed to be Vice President Dick Cheney.

John Spernak, 42, later admitted he wasn’t the vice president, but actually Jaclyn Smith, star of “Charlie’s Angels." He also claimed to be the husband of Paris Hilton’s sister, police said.

Spernak was driving over 90 mph, hit a patrol car and was shocked with a stun gun before police could arrest him. He was charged with attempted first-degree assault, engaging police in a pursuit, reckless driving, criminal mischief, interfering with police and being in a town park after dark, police said.

The police officers were on a routine patrol when they spotted Spernak in his parked car, who drove away as they approached.



Truer story:

me: do u think someone would poison me with scratch and sniff stickers?
serious question

lindswillslapu: i dont know if that works that way

me: hmmm
i got a letter from a deranged man covered in scratch and sniff stickers and i scratched grape
like an asshole

lindswillslapu: derenged man?

me: now i feel dizzy....psycho-somatic
yea dude...we got a letter sent here and i got it...ill bring home
its nuts

lindswillslapu: what does he want?

me: we just had a big marketing campaign drop two weeks ago...and whenever there are returns (invalid address) the letter gets sent back to me and i send along to have them taken off our file
it looks like he got our letter in the mail and sent us back stickers and a newspaper article from when he was arrested in 2007 for claiming he was dick cheney and married to nicky hilton
i can't even make this up

lindswillslapu: WHAT???
wowsers

me: yea
oh dont worry
im bringing home to share the joy
i mean its just pages of stickers...so random
but anyway i scratched grape cause i love it and i dont want to die
he also sent a dollar bill
presumably for cocaine use
and a photocopy of a wedding ring
with stickers on it
f*ing creepy

lindswillslapu: HOLY SHIT
Good him
Goggle him

me: his name is john f spernak

lindswillslapu: google that sycho

me: i did
it basically says what the article says

lindswillslapu: could be made up
name
he used to be thqat guy

me: so so weird

lindswillslapu: totally]

me: pretty cool way to die though
scratch and sniff

lindswillslapu: it would totes make the news

me: if i make it through until tomorrow...there's a mixed berry sticker im dying to smell

lindswillslapu: literally dying to smell

me: literally